A Letter from Vet Mom

I welcome you to this blog under the name "Vet Mom," in the hope of offering some support to other parents of veterinary medical students. Let me start by acknowledging something that I feel often goes unsaid: If your child is a vet student, they did not get there without at minimum above-average parenting. It's a long road, and any support along the way helps.

I actually started out thinking I wanted to be a veterinarian myself. In high school I got a job at a vet's office, and ultimately decided that if I couldn't be a vet for a circus, I didn't really want to spend my career taking care of pampered pets.

Around the same time, my sister was born eleven years after me, right as I was outgrowing baby dolls. I loved helping my mother with her — so much so that my mother used to say she wasn't sure which one of us was really the mom until I left for college.

Me and Joseph at his graduation from Ross University in 2025.

That experience made me a sought-after babysitter, and I decided I'd become a pediatrician instead.

What I was really interested in was why children develop the way they do. I majored in the Biological Basis of Behavior, earned a master's degree in Human Learning and Development, and went on to medical school. For a while, I thought I might work in international medicine — a summer in 1984 in a village clinic in Liberia, through a program called Crossroads Africa, was formative. But it also taught me something important: if I really wanted to help, I should study exactly what I was interested in, and send money to support the rest.

I did a pediatric internship, a residency in psychiatry, and a fellowship in child and adolescent psychiatry, at a program with deep roots in the developing field of infant psychiatry. I finished that fellowship in April of 1994, and I've been practicing infant, child, and adolescent psychiatry ever since — 32 years now. My middle child — my second son, Joseph — was born at the end of my training.

I was always supportive of my children's interest in animals, and they had plenty of it. At one point we had so many amphibians and reptiles that we had an actual "lizard room" in the house. Joseph in particular has always been inquisitive and creative, a risk-taker with real attention to detail, good follow-through, and — from an early age — impressive empathy. He majored in Biological Engineering and Zoology in college, so it wasn't a huge surprise when he chose veterinary medical school.

We were proud when Joseph was accepted — genuinely proud. Nationally, only about 10–19% of applicants to veterinary school are accepted, compared to roughly 44% for medical school. If your child has been accepted to a veterinary program, you have real cause to be proud too.

Joseph has always been a risk-taker, and like all children, he's taught me a great deal about parenting along the way. My aunt told me once that it isn't that your children stop needing you when they grow up — it's just that their problems get much bigger.

One of the harder shifts in parenting is moving from being in charge to being a consultant. This is especially true for young adults in graduate medical and veterinary programs: they're well into adulthood, but they can still need real support. Providing that support while also protecting their autonomy — letting them own their own decisions — is one of the more delicate balancing acts of parenting. It's something I'm still working on myself, and it's what this blog is really about.

In the posts ahead, I'll get more specific — about the practical side of having a child so far from home, like travel and school breaks, money and prescriptions, staying connected without hovering, and everything in between. I don't have all the answers, but I've learned a few things along the way, and I hope some of it helps.

From left to right: me with my parents at my medical school graduation; me in Liberia through Crossroads Africa in 1984; me with my dolls, just before my sister Barbara was born; Joseph in the driveway with our family dog, Abigail.

Address

Sunset View Apartments

West Farm, Island of St. Kitts

Contacts

info@sunsetviewstkitts.com

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